evening as it started about four pm. Started with me lying on the
floor of the chemist in the recovery position, Danny holding my
hand and saying "stay with me Derek,stay with me they'll be here
soon"( He's an ace guy Danny, but a bit of a 'drama queen'.) "They"
being two para-medics in an ambulance, they duly arrived and
spent best part of an hour getting my OBS stable, what ever that
means.
This entailed them putting sticky terminal points all over the
top half of my body, although that's not quite true, they only put
them where I had hair growing. Next they put plastic clothes pegs
on my fingers then shot some little needle thing into my thumb
for a blood sample ( nearly an arm full )all the while they kept me
talking, man, I don't do that, what they trying to do, kill me?
Eventually they decided it was ok to move me and bundled me
off to Solihull A & E.
Seems I got the last cubical/bed and they repeated all the
stuff the para-medics had done.. more sticky patches, more
blood tests (this time it was an arm full) and finally wheeled
down to the x-ray room etc. Of course everything was fine,
as I had already told them. This all took four or five hours,
most of which time I just sat on my bed watching what ever
was going on.
Best entertainment was the mobile x-ray machine, I swear
this was a scene from the ward in Catch22. Seems, unlike
me, no other patients could bemoved, hence the mobile
x-ray. Having wheeled it into a cubicle the nurse would
come back out, draw the curtain, and instead of shouting
"Fire inthe Hole" she shouted " X-ray , x-ray" as she
walked to the far end of the ward with a tv zapper in her
hand. Upon her cry, all the staff opposite the cubicles,
about ten of them behind a huge curved 'counter' left
their seats,and, still talking to each other crouched
down out of sight. The nurse with the zapper fired the
x-ray machine then shouted "All clear" at which all
the staff re-appeared from behind the 'counter', still
deep in conversation as if nothing had happened.
Well I guess you had to be there, but I thought it was
a hoot. By about ten, we, me and them, had had
enough of each other (and they wanted my bed)
so they signed me out and I got a taxi back to 60a.
Got to say what strange places hospitals are,
thankfully I have never stayed in one.To anyone
reading this and if you are into time travel, quantum
thingy or worm holes into parallel universes.... well,
they are real, we just call them"hospital entrances"
I spent four hours or more watching people coming
through them, leaving the world and all they know
outside, all with the same submissive demeanor,
as if they are saying " there you go doctor, there's my
body and soul for you to do as you will" Sure you get
the odd jerk like me who won't even put on those
stupid gown things with ribbons up the back,
well come on, maybe Jennifer Aniston can wear one,
but the rest of us?
If you want the last word on hospitals I suggest
you take out your copy of High Windows by Larkin
( of course you have one) and read "The Building"
brilliant. Anyway, spent the rest of the weekend
just me and Roland, cool ....
.... oh.... don't be so bloody stupid.... I'm fine ... KRO.
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